A Sacrifice of Love
by DZ1987
Summary: Lily is forced to come to terms with Severus Snape after his death in service of the Order of the Phoenix. Both from Lily's and Severus's POV. Alternate Universe
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER:**

All characters belong to J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros.

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:**

I've been an avid reader of Harry Potter for years and I present to you my first piece of fanfiction. I was really touched by the profound love Snape had for Lily. We all know how Severus reacted to Lily's death, but how would Lily have reacted to Severus's death? Find out in this story. Obviously AU.

**A Sacrifice of Love**

Severus Snape was staring idly in front of him, thinking. Eighteen months had passed since he had overheard the Prophecy:

"_The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches ... Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies ... And the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not ... And either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives ... The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies..."_

As soon as the bartender had thrown him out of the Hog's Head, he had realised that Sybill Trelawney's words contained valuable information. Like a puppy wanting to please his owner, Severus had gone to the Dark Lord to relay the Prophecy. At first he had been pleased. After the death of this 'Chosen One' nobody could stop the purification of Wizardry of all those unworthy and inferior. But everything changed when Severus pondered over the meaning of the Prophecy. The child would be born at the end of July to those who thrice defied the Dark Lord. From his countless encounters with the Order of the Phoenix in battle, he knew only two expectant couples who fitted that description. Alice and Frank Longbottom and James and Lily Potter. Lily….the only person he loved. He, Severus Snape, had put her straight in the path of her worst enemy. He had panicked and had asked for a private audience with the Dark Lord. Much to his relief, and surprise, the Dark Lord had granted him the audience. Then he had begged for Lily's life. The Dark Lord told him that he would 'consider'it. Severus, however, knew the Dark Lord well enough that he wouldn't bother sparing her if she stood in his way. And he knew Lily well enough that she would do exactly that.

The relief that had flooded him when the Dark Lord made his 'promise' didn't last long and before the end of that particular night, the panic had returned stronger than before. Severus needed more insurances for Lily's safety and he had done the unthinkable. He had arranged a meeting with the Dark Lord's nemesis, Albus Dumbledore. At first the Hogwarts Headmaster had dismissed his fears and he even called him 'disgusting' when Severus had told of his attempt to get Lily spared and leave James Potter and his son to their fates. But in the end the old wizard relented and offered Severus a chance to save her. Although Severus had pressed Dumbledore for a visible role in the Order of the Phoenix, so that he might be able to better protect Lily and also to earn her forgiveness, Dumbledore considered him more valuable as a spy. Since the Dark Lord too had ordered Severus to spy, he effectively became a double agent. His skills in Occlumency had come in handy in the last months.

A couple of weeks ago Dumbledore had summoned Severus to his office and he had been informed of a security leak within the Order of the Phoenix. Through Legilimency Snape had sensed that Dumbledore had a faint idea of where the leak might be, but he also sensed that Dumbledore was either unsure or that he wasn't willing to share his suspicions with an ex-Death Eater. Severus assumed the latter. Anyway, Dumbledore had tasked him with gathering information about possible Death Eater spies in the Order. Through booze and Legilimency Severus had tried to trick Augustus Rookwood, the Dark Lord's spymaster, into revealing the names of new spies. Rookwood hadn't been suspicious at all and he even gave Severus a name, Wormtail. The name somehow sounded strangely familiar to Severus, but it didn't reveal the turncoat's identity. He had discretely pressed Rookwood for more information about this 'Wormtail', but Rookwood told him the spy received 'special treatment' from the Dark Lord, which meant that the Dark Lord only engaged in private meetings with the turncoat and wouldn't even let Rookwood in on the man's secrets.

Severus's thoughts wandered to Lily. He felt the urge to check whether she was allright, even though Dumbledore informed him yesterday that he had placed Lily's home under the Fidelius Charm. If only the Potters pick a reliable Secret Keeper, Severus thought. He felt a wave of anger flow through him when he thought about the idea that Lily's life was in the hands of Potter and his lazy friends, the Marauders. He, Severus Snape, should be protecting the love of his life, not that messy, arrogant fool James Potter. His internal rant was interrupted when he felt a burning sensation on his left forearm. He rolled up his sleeve and looked at the Dark Mark. A skull was staring him in the eye, a snake crawling menacingly from its mouth. Severus sighed, the Dark Lord wanted him to attend one of his meetings. Severus touched the Mark and he instantly Disapparated to an unknown location.

Severus Apparated at an abandoned farm. Soon he heard more loud bangs and he saw more Death Eaters Apparate. Finally the Dark Lord himself Apparated into the farm's courtyard. Severus could see that the Dark Lord was in a celebratory mood. The Dark Lord's eyes gazed across the faces of his followers. Then he started to speak: "Good, my faithful followers. It's good that you've showed up in such great numbers, for I have a very important announcement to make". Bellatrix Lestrange, never letting an opportunity to flatter the Dark Lord pass by, asked with a yearning voice: "What announcement is it that you wish to make, Great Lord?"

The Dark Lord grinned at Bellatrix and answered: "If you let me speak, you will hear that it is of great importance, Bella".

Even though any sane soul would have interpreted the Dark Lord's remark as a mild reproach, Bellatrix, no sane soul, smiled as if she had been given a great compliment. The Dark Lord halted for a couple of seconds, so that all eyes would be fixed on his lips.

He then made his announcement: "For some weeks I have been privy to important information about the Order of the Phoenix. One of its members has finally seen the light and has volunteered to spy for us". Even though he tried not to show anymore interest than usual, Severus leaned forward slightly as the Dark Lord confirmed Dumbledore's suspicions of a mole in the Order. Severus was keen to hear the rest of the announcement and listened while the Dark Lord continued: "Yesterday the spy delivered the crucial piece of information that will lead to the downfall of the Order of the Phoenix and our final triumph". The other Death Eaters cheered loudly at the news of their impending victory.

Severus was stunned and alarmed. What kind of information did the Dark Lord get his hands on? Severus was a skilled Legilimens, but it had never crossed his mind to try Legilimency on the Dark Lord, who after all was a very skilled Occlumens. Not until now, at least. The fact that the Order, and Lily with it, could be overrun prompted him into action. He carefully drew his wand, concealed it behind his cloak and muttered, non-verbally, "Legilimens". To minimise the possibility of the Dark Lord detecting his presence in his mind, Severus emptied himself of all emotion. Because of the lack of eye contact, Severus found it difficult to get a hold of the Dark Lord's emotions and thoughts. Fortunately the Dark Lord had his guard down and Severus's environment changed from the abandoned farm to the subconscious part of the Dark Lord's mind. In the background he heard the Dark Lord's voice deliver his announcement to what appeared to be a very distant world. At first irrelevant memories flashed in front of Severus's eyes, like Tom Riddle spending his days at an orphanage. Severus tried to focus on the emotions of the Dark Lord instead. He felt the strongest of the Dark Lord's emotions, triumph, glee and joy, course through his body.

The memories associated with the emotions now followed each other. He saw and heard himself relay the Prophecy to the Dark Lord, before the scene changed to Augustus Rookwood giving the Dark Lord information.

"The Longbottoms' baby is due to be born in the third week of July, the Potter child is expected in the beginning of August", Severus heard Rookwood say.

Severus found it difficult to control his emotions as he witnessed himself and Rookwood betray Lily. The scene changed again and now Severus looked upon a man of his own age. Suddenly he recognised him. Peter Pettigrew, one of Potter's friends! This had to be the mole Dumbledore had been talking about. Severus listened to the conversation between Pettigrew and the Dark Lord.

"What information do you have for me, Wormtail?", the Dark Lord asked.

Severus now remembered the stupid nicknames the Marauders used to have for one another, like Proudfoot and Wormtail, which Potter always used to refer to Pettigrew. Severus concentrated on Pettigrew, who answered the Dark Lord's question:

"Dumbledore has placed the Potter home under the Fidelius Charm, Mylord."

Severus couldn't believe his ears, this memory couldn't be more than a day old, for Dumbledore informed him yesterday that the Fidelius had been put in place. The Dark Lord's face showed anger and he asked:

"And I suppose you don't know how to circumvent the Fidelius Charm?"

A gleeful grin appeared on Pettigrew's ratty face and he answered the Dark Lord: "In fact I do know how to circumvent the Charm, Mylord. In their foolishness the Potters have named me their Secret Keeper".

Severus could no longer control his emotions. Panic and a sense of defeat took hold of him. He had failed Lily. Through his own betrayal and Pettigrew's defection Lily would be killed. At the same time the memories in front of his eyes faded and he noticed that the Dark Lord was closing his mind against him. The Dark Lord had become aware of Severus's presence in his mind and the distant voice in the background had stopped talking.

Instead of the abandoned farm reappearing as Severus had expected, he saw new memories appear in front of him. He saw his father yell at his cowering mother, while he was crying in the corner. Severus realised the Dark Lord was invading his own mind now and he desperately tried to shut his mind against him. But his Occlumency skills failed him and he saw more memories flashing by. He saw the playground where he and Lily had first met. He then saw the meadow where they had spend a lot of time together. He cringed when he witnessed his Worst Memory.

"I don't need help from filthy Mudbloods like you!", he heard himself yell.

It looked like the Dark Lord was searching for different information because the pace at which the memories flashed by increased. He once again saw himself deliver the Prophecy to the Dark Lord, before his conversation with Dumbledore on the hilltop appeared in front of him. "What do I get in return?", Severus heard Dumbledore ask. He heard himself say: "In return? Anything."

All of a sudden Severus was back at the farm. As he looked around him he saw the confused faces of the Death Eaters, staring at the Dark Lord and each other. It couldn't have escaped their notice that the Dark Lord had suddenly stopped talking in the midst of his announcement.

"You traitor!", the Dark Lord hissed at Severus, before he aimed his wand at Severus and disarmed him.

Severus's wand was launched through the air, hitting the ground several yards away.

"I should have known you would betray me when you begged for that Mudblood's life!", bellowed the Dark Lord.

Still somewhat confused, Lucius Malfoy interjected and asked: "Mylord, you mean that Snape has begged for the life of Lily Potter?"

"Yes, and then he went straight up to Dumbledore and asked him to protect her. He even offered him his allegiance", the Dark Lord answered, more calmly now.

The Death Eaters started to murmur loudly, until Bellatrix cried out:

"Mylord, this traitor must be punished!"

"Don't you worry, Bella. You know how I deal with disloyalty".

The Dark Lord once again aimed his wand at Severus and uttered a spell: _"Crucio!"_

Severus felt a fierce pain go through his body. It was as if thousands of hot needles were puncturing his skin. Severus had witnessed the effects of the Cruciatus Curse firsthand, but they were infinitely worse than he could possibly have imagined. He heard several Death Eaters cast the Cruciatus Curse too and the pain increased even more. He had to get word out of Pettigrew's betrayal to Dumbledore. Severus was now riving on the floor in pain. He rolled onto something sharp. When his hand clasped the object, he realised that it was his own wand. Whilst the Death Eaters were laughing in amusement, Severus was searching for happy memories. He thought about how he and Lily used to talk about Hogwarts at the meadow and about the plans Lily and he had made at Hogwarts. Even though the pain was sapping his strength Severus raised his wand and at the top of his lungs he yelled:

_"Expecto Patronum!"_

A doe sprang from the tip of Severus's wand. Its silverly light was brighter than anything Severus had ever seen and he covered his eyes. The Dark Lord and the Death Eaters were blinded by the bright light and the pain in Severus's body disappeared. He saw how the doe galloped away from the farm, carrying a message that could save Lily's life. Hopefully, it would reach Dumbledore in time.

"That was quite impressive magic, Snape. But it won't save you", the Dark Lord remarked.

The Dark Lord had gotten back to his feet and now aimed his wand at Severus. Severus tried to raise his arm, but the Cruciatus Curse had drained his strength.

_"Avada Kedavra!"_, the Dark Lord uttered and a green bolt of light emerged from the tip of his wand.

As the green bolt hit him in the chest, Severus heard Lucius Malfoy shout: _"Morsmordre!"_


	2. Chapter 2

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

Sorry for the delay, but I had a lot of business to attend to. I wish to thank the reviewers for their comments. They were a great encouragement for me to keep on writing.

_**Godric's Hollow, October 25th 1981, 9:40 pm**_

Lily Potter closed the door of Harry's bedroom. She had just checked up on her sleeping child. Even though Harry was only fourteen months old he had turned into an energetic child, just like his father. Lily was pleased with the close relationship father and son had developed. Ever since she and James had bought him his first broom for his birthday, Harry couldn't be separated from it and James was teaching him how to fly and catch a golden snitch in midair.

Lily entered the living room where a hefty discussion was going on:

"I just can't believe it, Dumbledore actually believes one of us is the spy for the You-Know-Who. It's a ridiculous thought, isn't it?", Sirius Black snorted.

When no-one answered, Sirius looked around haughtily and when his eyes rested on Remus Lupin he asked:

"Well, Moony, what do you think? Has Dumbledore lost his mind?"

Remus, deeply immersed in thought, answered: "So it seems, but if Dumbledore thinks the spy is to be found here, he must have a good reason for that."

Lily would never believe any of her friends could betray her. They had stuck with James throughout his years in Hogwarts and they fought side by side in battle for the Order of the Phoenix. That creates a bond that can never be broken, she thought. But then it struck her that she once had a close relationship with Severus Snape, the unhappy loner from Slytherin House. That was before he had called her that terrible word, Mudblood. Before he had betrayed her and joined Voldemort. She shuddered at the thought of being betrayed again and banished the thought from her mind.

Her husband James tried to end the speculation and said emphatically:

"There aren't any people on Earth whom I would entrust more willingly with my life than the three of you"

Sirius gave a smile and said: "Yeah, we would never let you down, right Peter?"

Peter Pettigrew, who had been listening to the conversation absentmindedly, was startled by Sirius's question and wearily looked around before answering softly: "Yeah, never."

Lily looked at Peter and noticed that his mind kept wandering off. Over the past weeks Lily had noticed that Peter didn't eat as much as he should be eating and that, like now, his mind was somewhere else. Something was definitely bothering her friend. Peter was a Gryffindor allright, but Lily never really thought of him as brave. Perhaps fighting for the Order had taken a larger toll on Peter than on the rest of them. She was about to ask him what was on his mind when someone knocked on the front door.

Lily, James and their friends immediately drew their wands and James asked:

"Who is there?"

"It's me, Albus Dumbledore", the voice at the other side of the door answered.

They all put their wands away and James moved towards the door and opened it. He greeted Dumbledore but the old professor quickly moved past him, drew his wand and aimed it at Peter before casting a spell:

_"Petrificus Totalus!"_

Peter tried to dive away but the spell hit him and he stiffened. Horrified, Lily looked at Dumbledore. What was he thinking! Was this man really Dumbledore or some impostor, she wondered. Sirius and Remus had drawn their wands and aimed them at Dumbledore. Dumbledore wasn't alarmed.

"What is the meaning of this, Albus?", James asked, with shock in his voice.

Sirius answered him: "This isn't Dumbledore. This man, or woman, has drunk Polyjuice Potion. That's the meaning of this".

Dumbledore didn't move an inch and calmly explained: "I assure you that I am not an impostor and that I have serious reasons to believe that Peter Pettigrew is working for Voldemort".

Lily couldn't believe her ears. Peter Pettigrew could not be a spy. He was way too good natured for that and way too insecure for such a role anyway. Sirius must be right, this person here had drunken Polyjuice Potion and was a Death Eater.

"Peter, a spy? That is ridiculous. And if you are really Dumbledore, you must prove it", Sirius said haughtily.

Dumbledore remained calm and said: "As you wish, Mr Black. In your sixth year you thought that sending a young Slytherin student to share a shack with a werewolf was great fun. Only through the heroic actions of your friend James here, was Severus Snape saved from the unsavoury consequences of your dark humour. And only for James's sake did I not expel you from Hogwarts, Mr Black".

Lily was stunned. Had Sirius really left Snape alone with Remus Lupin during fool moon? Lily tried to dismiss the words of 'Dumbledore' as a ploy to cast doubt in their minds, but to her surprise Sirius was taken aback by Dumbledore's words and lowered his wand. He then looked at Dumbledore and said: "You promised me it would remain a secret. Just between you, me, James and Remus".

Dumbledore smiled guiltily.

"You wanted proof, Mr Black. I could only convince you with something only I know. I am sorry for revealing our secret".

Lily was flabbergasted. To her great dissappointment Sirius had actually put Snape in mortal danger. She had always thought that Sirius was beneath such petty acts only Death Eaters would call humour. Fortunately James had been there and nothing bad had happened. Her thoughts were interrupted when Dumbledore's blue eyes looked into hers.

"The house must be evacuated at once. Peter has made sure that Voldemort can get in here. Mrs Potter, get Harry from his crib and get down here immediately".

Lily went up the stairs. So, Peter Pettigrew was a Death Eater. She still couldn't believe it. How could Peter do such a thing? Put her, James and not to mention Harry in danger. Of course it was possible that Dumbledore was wrong and she desperately hoped he was. But still, Dumbledore's suspicions did explain Peter's strange behaviour. She reached Harry's room and opened the door. She took Harry from his crib. Even though he slightly opened his eyes, Harry did not wake. When she got downstairs, everyone was waiting for her. Dumbledore clutched Pettigrew, who was still petrified, for sidelong apparition.

"Let's all Apparate to Hogsmeade", Dumbledore said.

Lily concentrated her mind on Hogsmeade. Her house in Godric's Hollow disappeared and the next moment Hogsmeade appeared in front of her. She followed Dumbledore, Sirius, Remus and James to Hogwarts.

After Dumbledore had Peter locked up in the dungeons and Harry installed in a spare room, he beckoned James and Lily to follow him to his office.

Dumbledore stood in front of the gargoyle which guarded his office and told the password: "Acid Pops". The gargoyle moved aside and Lily and James followed the Headmaster to his office. Dumbledore offered them two seats, before he seated himself in the Headmaster's Seat.

Dumbledore looked them both in the eye and started to speak: "I know what you are thinking. You think I have lost my mind and that Peter is innocent and that I was wrong to take him into custody. But trust me when I say that I would never do such a drastic thing without good reason".

James flashed in anger and raised his voice: "What reason is that?"

"As you know Voldemort has been aware of our plans for the last couple of months. Too many plans for it to be a coincidence. I've done some investigations into where the leak might be. Three times Voldemort has tried to take the two of you out and on two occassions your whereabouts where only known to me, you, Peter, Remus and Sirius", Dumbledore said gravely.

James looked around in shock.

"You're saying you have been suspecting my friends all along?, James remarked angrily.

Dumbledore nodded and answered: "There were no other possibilities. The five of you are amongst my closest associates and few people know more than about the Order than you. The spy is privy to information I have only discussed with the five of you. At first I suspected Remus, because of his werewolf status..."

James burst out in anger: "How dare you stigmatise Remus like this! How many times has he had to hear that he wasn't good enough, simply because he was a werewolf!

Dumbledore gave James an apologetic look before continuing: "I know it is unfair to think this, but Remus had most to gain by joining Voldemort. Voldemort offers werewolves an equal position in Wizarding society in exchange for support, so Remus was the obvious suspect".

Lily had followed the uncomfortable conversation with apprehension. She hated the way Dumbledore spoke about her friends.

"What made you think it is Peter?", Lily snapped coldly.

Dumbledore's blue eyes bored into hers and he paused before answering, as if he was thinking about what to tell her.

"Voldemort isn't the only one who has access to inside information. I also happen to be privy to Voldemort's plans".

Lily nodded her head in disbelief and asked: "You mean you have recruited a spy?"

Dumbledore nodded.

"Actually the spy volunteered to spy on Voldemort. But for the sake of the spy's safety I can't possibly tell you more. Except that this source has provided me with information, linking Peter with Voldemort".

Lily wondered who the spy might be. She praised anyone who had the courage to turn his or her back on Voldemort, but she sincerely doubted the reliability of Dumbledore's spy. She thought about Sirius's brother, Regulus, who had joined the Death Eaters at age sixteen. Two years ago he had been killed while he was trying to leave them. Even though Sirius pretended not to care, she knew he was upset about his younger brother's death. Perhaps Regulus hadn't died and instead had turned spy for Dumbledore. She hoped for Sirius that he indeed was alive, but also hoped that the information about Peter was wrong.

Lily jumped up when she heard the gargoyle move. She heard someone come up towards the office. She turned around and saw Alastor Moody enter the office.

Dumbledore eagerly looked the battered Auror in the face.

"Good you are here, Alastor. And, have you found him?, Dumbledore quickly asked.

"I have, but I'm afraid it doesn't bode well. We had to Obliviate a group of Muggle motorists in Hampshire. They had seen the Dark Mark hover above a farmstead and our investigation team has moved in. I'm sorry Albus, but it seems our help comes too late. Death Eaters don't cast their Dark Mark until there victims have most certainly expired".

Dumbledore moaned audibly and buried his head in his hands. Lily noticed that his face suddenly looked tired and old. To her great shock Dumbledore was struggling to keep tears from falling.

"I told him not too take excessive risks in finding out who spied on us, but he was too desperate to expose him", Dumbledore lamented.

Alastor, never comfortable with emotion, noted sternly: "I never really liked that Snape fellow, but he certainly did us a great service tonight. His courage was commendable. What a waste of life".

Lily gasped in shock. Had she really heard Alastor say 'Snape'?

Dumbledore looked at Alastor as if he had just given away Dumbledore's innermost secrets.

"Thank you for your briefing, Alastor. Please make sure Severus's body is brought to Hogwarts", Dumbledore said with a hint of fatigue and annoyance in his voice.

Alastor, not noticing it, nodded and left.

Lily almost stopped breathing. She had never forgiven Snape for calling her a Mudblood. For years she had stood by him in the face of James's bullying. Lily had comforted him every time he told her stories about his miserable home life. But always there had been something looming over their friendship: Severus's love of the Dark Arts. Over the years Severus had come to accept the evil things Voldemort's followers said about Muggleborns and he started to hang out more and more with his peers in Slytherin. One day, at the end of their fifth year, after being bullied by James he had called her a Mudblood. The memory of that day still tore her apart. It wasn't the word itself that had hurt the most, it was the idea that her friend was gone. He had attempted to apologise to her that same evening, but it was clear to her that he didn't see the point. He wanted both the friendship of a Muggleborn and the Death Eaters and he didn't understand that he had to choose. If he had unequivocally chosen her that evening, she would have forgiven him. But he hadn't and she had ended his friendship there and then. They had continued their education at Hogwarts for a further two years and hadn't exchanged more than a glance, let alone speak again. During her sixth year Lily heard rumours that Snape had joined Voldemort. James had stopped bullying people and Lily had fallen in love with him. Lily joined the Order as soon as she had left Hogwarts. Lily had married James two years ago. She didn't know whether her mind had been playing tricks on her at her wedding day, but she thought she had seen Severus lurking about. Now she heard Severus had died, resisting Voldemort no less, and despite all that had gone wrong between them she was sad. Yet, she wasn't sure she could forgive him.

Dumbledore had sunk back into his seat and suddenly realised that she and James were still in his office.

"I think it's best for all of us to retire and rest. It has been quite a stressful night", Dumbledore said.

Lily and James left Dumbledore's office. Lily was breathing heavily, she still had to come to grips with Snape's death. James noticed and said:

"I realise how difficult this must be for you, Lils. Snape was once was a friend of you after all. His resistance against Voldemort, even if covert, proves that he was decent deep down".

Lily and James went to the room Dumbledore had assigned to them. Lily checked up on Harry before she went to bed. She spent hours thinking about Peter and Snape, before she finally fell asleep.

The next morning James woke her. He handed her a note one of the Hogwarts house-elves had delivered.

Lily read the note:

_Dear Lily,_

_I want you to know that this night Alastor Moody and his colleagues from Magical Law Enforcement have brought in Severus Snape's body.  
I had the body moved to classroom 11, which currently isn't in use. Since you and Mr Snape used to be close I thought you would want  
to pay him your respects._

_Yours faithfully,_

_Albus Dumbledore._

"Are you going to see Snape?", James asked.

"Yes, I think I will", Lily replied.

"Do you want me to accompany you?", James asked.

"No, I will be fine", Lily said.

Lily actually wasn't sure she would be. She had repressed the memories she had of Snape for so many years that she still had trouble believing her once close friend was dead. Part of her didn't want to see Snape's body. He had offended her greatly while he was still alive and she hadn't seen him do anything good since she had last seen him. But the stronger part of her remembered the good times they had together and she felt the need to find closure with Snape.

After she had dressed and eaten her breakfast, Lily went to classroom 11. When she entered she saw a large plateau with Severus Snape's body on it. Underneath the body there was a drapery in the colours of Slytherin house and a bouquet of flowers was placed on a nearby table. When she approached Snape's lifeless body, she felt tears filling her eyes. When she saw the bruises and blisters on his body, she brought her hands to her mouth in shock.

"Oh, Sev. What have they done to you?", Lily sobbed.

She touched Severus's arm. It was cold. She moved her hand upwards to Severus's head and touched his greasy hair.

She heard someone enter the classroom. Was it James? She didn't care and didn't turn around. The person who had entered didn't speak either, but she felt the need to share her emotions and she started talking, partly to herself and partly to the person who had entered.

"I could have saved him, if only I had forgiven him", she said with a tearful voice.

"You did save him", she heard Dumbledore's voice tell her.

Suddenly she turned around and looked the old Headmaster in the eye, before she retorted him sharply.

"I didn't save him, I surrendered him! To Voldemort. I was so angry when I refused his apology. I thought he would abandon this crazy idea of joining Voldemort if I shunned him.  
Instead I abandoned him and he drifted straight into Voldemort's clutches. Tell me, Albus, how did I save him?"

"By opening his heart", Dumbledore said calmly.

"What is that supposed to mean?", she asked, not understanding Dumbledore's point.

"Severus approached me eighteen months ago. He had delivered a prophecy to Voldemort, a prophecy that referred to Harry, James and you. He was so afraid of losing you that he willingly offered his services to me. Because of his Death Eater contacts I gathered he would be most useful as a spy, even though Severus preferred to fight for the Order publicly. Over the course of the past eighteen months I've come to notice that he carried a large burden. The destruction of his friendship with you, I thought. Until yesterday", Dumbledore remarked calmly.

Lily had been listening to Dumbledore with increasing astonishment, but his last words raised even more questions.

"What did you find out?", Lily asked.

"Voldemort had scheduled a meeting for yesterday evening, which Severus was to attend. After the meeting he was supposed to Apparate to Hogsmeade to brief me on the latest developments. I was working in my office when I suddenly saw a Patronus enter my office, it had the form of a doe. Since you and I have exchanged messages by Patronus before, I first thought it was your Patronus. But then the Patronus delivered a message in Severus's voice. It informed me of Peter's betrayal. Unfortunately Severus didn't include in his message information about his whereabouts or well-being. Because of the great risk involved in sending such a message, I immediately assumed Severus was in trouble and ordered Alastor to look for him. The one reason I believe Peter is indeed the mole is because of the price Severus had to pay to get the information to the Order."

Tears were rolling across Lily's cheeks as she absorbed the information Dumbledore offered her. It shocked her to hear that Severus's Patronus had matched hers. It could mean only one thing, that Severus Snape's love for her had been far deeper than she thought and certainly more than platonic.

The thought that Severus had been in love with her, unnerved her. But in hindsight it made perfect sense. The clues were right there, in the conversations Severus had with her. More than once Severus had talked about James and how he was trying to get her on a date with him. Back then she thought he was so adamant about it because of the hatred between him and James, but now she realised how Severus had truly felt. He had been in love with her, even back then, and his remarks had been motivated by jealousy.

She again remembered how Severus tried to apologise for calling her a Mudblood at the end of their fifth year. If she hadn't left the Gryffindor common room, he would have slept in front of the Fat Lady's portrait. Back then she had considered it an idle threat, just to get her to talk to him, but now she realised that he would have made good on it. The memory had always been a painful one, but it hurt even more now. She had tried to make a point back then: Severus and she could only be friends again if he turned his back on the Dark Arts. When he was unable to make that commitment, she had looked upon him with contempt and told him to leave. Now she felt only pity and remorse, for she had broken his heart.

Lily started to sob uncontrollably and collapsed into Dumbledore's arms, much to his surprise. He held her close and literally offered her a shoulder to cry on.

"How could I not have seen? How can you possibly maintain that I saved him, while I should have forgiven him years ago?", Lily sobbed.

"I can say so, because you always bring out the best in people. Severus was well on his way to join Voldemort in his Hogwarts days. Nothing could have stopped that. I've always believed that love is the strongest magic on the face of the Earth and I daresay I'm right. It was the love Severus felt for you that led him to renounce Voldemort's evil ways and that's why you did indeed save him", Dumbledore said comfortingly.

Lily steadied herself, let go of the old Headmaster and asked: "Why do I feel so guilty about Severus's death then?"

"That feeling will pass. As long as you remember that the only one to blame for Severus's death is Voldemort", Dumbledore said.

Lily nodded in agreement.

"Now, if you will excuse me. There are a couple of teachers waiting for me who want to know how we can keep this year's Halloween celebrations under control. Good night, Mrs Potter, and take care", Dumbedore said.

"Thank you, Professor, I will. Good night", Lily answered.

While Dumbledore left the classroom, Lily turned her attention to Severus's body.

"I am sorry, Sev. I should have known. I should have known that I broke your heart. I forgive you now.", she said while the tears kept on coming.

She leaned over her dead friend's body and decided to give him now what he had desired from her in life. She kissed him on his lips.

Then she took a flower from the bouquet and put it in his hands.

"Thank you, Sev", she whispered.

Then she dried her tears and left the make-shift morgue.


End file.
